Harder Times

I have never been one to do well with hard things. I tend to pretend like they didn't happen until whatever it is festers long enough and I explode. I don't know why, it is something that I have actively tried to change and yet can't. From fighting to dealing with death, it's what I have done since I was little. So forgive me for not posting about these things in a more timely manner, I have been avoiding it.

First, our complex had a fire the weekend after Christmas. Andy was in Houston with his dad and brother, D was spending the weekend with my parents and thankfully the babies and I were with my mother in-law for the night. She and I heard the fire engines starting just before 10, and she commented that it was a heck of a night for a fire, the winds were bad. The engines kept coming, and eventually we both went to sleep, thinking that it must be a bad fire somewhere. Around midnight, she wakes me to tell me that the fire is at our apartment complex (about 5 minutes away)... Our place is fine but the units directly across from us were on fire and it was bad.

I drove over and had to walk in two blocks due to the amount of emergency vehicles that were there. I've never seen a response like it in my life and hope never to see anything like this again.

We know two out of the three families well, and the third in passing. The fire started on the second floor, in D's best friend's apartment. Thankfully they were not home, neither were the third floor tenants. Those units were the worst with fire damage. Our friends on the first floor were home, but made it out safely. All three units are destroyed. I could see straight through the roof on Sunday morning before they boarded everything up. Two cats did not make it out but no human lives were lost, thank god.

Our place still smells of smoke when the wind blows, and it smells strongly outside still. I didn't think that it would affect me as much as it has, given that we weren't here when it happened. However, every time I have heard sirens or seen a fire engine pass, I still check out my window. I can't wait until that response passes.

The view from our bedroom window....

Tape still left from when the area was blocked off across the street...

Additionally, this past weekend marked the one year anniversary of a very good friends passing. Andy made a beautiful cross to put at his grave site and we spent good times with friends remembering him. You were and are very loved Rob and we all miss you so very very much.