School, again...

Today marks the start of the Spring semester and I'd like to throw up at this point. I've dropped one class that the Nursing Department told me I didn't need to take/shouldn't take given the other classes I'm going to be in so at least that is a good thing. Tonight I have Medical Microbiology (lecture and lab back to back), tomorrow will be Algebra (vomit), Wednesday more micro, Thursday is Pharmacology all freaking day and then more math at night, and that is my weekly schedule.

On Thursday I had my meeting with the head counselor for the Nursing Department and I am damn close... So close that I will be making my first attempt at the HESI exam mid February! My study guide for that should arrive tomorrow. I have four attempts and need to score as high as possible.

That's all for now. My brain hasn't fully kicked on yet (coffee is still in the mug). Just trying to get back in the habit of actually coming over here and writing.

a revamp instead of a complete do-over

Well I'm thinking it is a good idea for me to start putting shit on paper instead of just letting it fester in my head. I'll be honest, I tried to start a completely new blog on WordPress and couldn't get the program to download properly, then I tried to delete my old blogs on here to start completely fresh and couldn't even figure that shit out. So here I sit, too lazy to research how to fix any of that, and instead, turning this blog in to something a bit different than it was before.

Yes, if anyone is even still reading this, I will be doing family updates here at some point (as the mood strikes me). I'll also be focusing more on knitting, and running, and my mental health which are all large focuses for me at this point.

I'm not setting any real goals as far as posting every so often, or what I am supposed to write about, I just want this to be a place for me to come and vent, or cry, or celebrate, even if it is privately.

So tonight, I've got quiet children, a small Valentines Day knitting project, a Tervis full of vodka and soda and a few good foreign flicks to watch. Yup, I'm okay with that.

Snow and the Departure

Today was the day. Andy left this morning, around 3:30 am, once we heard that the roads had been cleared enough to drive. His departure was a painful one. D and my inlaws all stayed awake to see him off. We didn't wake the little ones. L cried so hard last night, A simply doesn't understand. I managed to get a few hours of sleep after we said goodbye, but woke with an incredibly empty feeling inside.

He's called and checked in quite a few times along the way. As of dinner time he'd made it in to Texas and was about two hours outside of Dallas, where he'll spend the night with family. It still feels a bit like he's on vacation for a week or so, but then every once and a while, the realization that he's not coming back hits me. I'm holding on to the knowledge that we will be very very busy between school and his work, so hopefully time will pass quickly.

I am sure that anyone reading this knows that we got absolutely slammed with snow Tuesday and Wednesday. 20 inches, but the drifts were up to 5 feet high. We got some great pictures on Wednesday once it stopped. The temperature wasn't horrid, so we bundled the kids up and went outside to play for a while. Andy was up to his waist at one point and my car was buried up to the windows! It's crazy. There still isn't much room to park or move around.

I have my first A&P II exam tomorrow on the Central Nervous System. The one that I mentioned with 95 slides of lecture material. School was closed, so we missed class on Wednesday but are still responsible for knowing the last slides that were supposed to be covered. I'm just ready for it to be over with!

I'll upload and post pics of the snow and kiddos tomorrow once things have died down a bit.

That Sickening Feeling

It started this morning. That sickening feeling that you get in your stomach when you know something is coming that you aren't completely prepared for. When I left the house this morning to take the little guys to preschool, I cheerfully commented to Andy "it's your last week of work!" It wasn't until I was on my way to school that it really hit me. This is his last week of work...

This is his last full week here... This is his last full week with the kids until we move...

I am not sure how to process these feelings. I've done a great job of pretending like the situation didn't exist until now. Filled my days with thoughts of how short the time would be, or simply refusing to think about it at all.

The reality is that we will have 5 months apart from each other. 5 months where we will Skyp, call, mail, etc. But there will be few times for real interaction. We've been doing our best to prep the kids so that there isn't a major fall-out. We know that there will be despite our best efforts.

I have a full week and three days left with my husband, before he moves 1/2 way across country to bravely start a new life for us, one where we will be able to live up to the goals and dreams that we've talked about for several years. I cannot imagine how hard it is for him, I only know the pain that I feel, and that I still have the kids here to comfort me and I to comfort them. Who will comfort him?

And So It Begins, Again

I have just over one day left until the Spring semester starts. I just opened my "school" e-mail, hoping that my professors may have e-mailed to hint at first lectures, send the syllabus, etc. Little did I know that this would lead me to feel completely and totally dizzy and frightened.

This semester I will be taking Women's Studies, US History (1890-present), English (yes, another one), Human Development, and Anatomy and Physiology II. I haven't heard from any of my professors with the exception of my A&P Professor. I took her class last semester and really enjoyed the class and her teaching style. That said, it absolutely kicked my ass. She sent the course outline today with exam dates (her exam schedule is crazy, every 2 wks or so) and our first lecture series on the Central Nervous System. The PowerPoint set is 95 slides long. Um excuse me WHAT?! 95 slides, with our CNS exam on February 4th, 2 weeks away from now. I could throw up.

Side note. I am SO excited that Natalie Portman won Best Actress for Black Swan. She was brilliant in the movie and I think she's just adorable in general. Have to admit that I am pretty pissed that The Social Network won for Best Picture. Inception and Black Swan were far superior, but it just goes to show that we really do live in a Facebook society.

No New Years Resolutions, Just Life Changes

I am not a fan of the whole "New Years Resolutions" thing. I get that people go in to them with the right ideas. I'll lose weight, I'll quit smoking, I'll get to the gym more..... The lists go on and on. Like most of those people though, I have never really followed through on any of it. I don't think that people fail because they really can't do these things. Rather, I think that the motivation is wrong. You can't change your life simply on the fact that it's a whole new year. It has to come from a deep desire within, one that will stick with you when those goals are challenged over and over again. Sometimes those desires are long planned and grow, and sometimes they come from a wake-up call. My latest life change goal comes from the latter.

I almost feel silly posting this, because it does sound so cliche to have it around the new year. That said, my revelation actually happened over the holidays, and it's taken some time for me to decide to actually run with it. I'm going to make the commitment to myself to become vegan again. I was faced with the reality (over the holidays) that my body seriously hates me when I eat animal products in almost any form. Dairy and I clash hard, and yet when I have even a little bit, it sends me spiraling out of control and I crave more and more despite the physical pain it puts me in. How odd is that? Eggs, well I just find eggs to be gross in theory. So that is a lesser "give-up."

I went to the library last night and found two new-to-me cookbooks Veganomicon and Vegan with a Vengeance, both by Isa Chandra Moskowitz. These books are going to be my guide to day by day vegan eating and living for the next month (that is how long I will have them on loan at least). I spent two hours last night pouring over the introductions, the recipes, the tips. To say that I am excited would be an understatement. My past attempts at veganism ended due to issues with "what to eat?" and boredom of the food. With these two books alone, I feel that I could cook for months on end and never repeat a recipe.

This morning I made tofu scramble. I've made my own versions of this before, something that I actually eat quite regularly. Usually I have to supplement with corn tortillas and a bit of salsa to really enjoy. However, I followed her recipe in Vegan with a Vengeance (the first in the book), and am in love. It needed nothing else, it was absolutely divine!

So, on top of family, school, and knitting posts, I will now also be keeping a little log of my cooking adventures and struggles on this new journey I am undertaking!

Happy 2011 everyone.

Transformers, more than meets the eye

Ah Christmas. It was a particularly great one this year. The kids were so thankful for all of their gifts and Santa brought a few of the key things on their list.

While all of the presents were really fun, L's main "Santa" gift was an Optimus Prime that really transforms in to the truck (quite large and really neat looking). As high as his level of excitement was for Optimus, he also happened to want him transformed immediately. Andy and I pulled out the instructions, thinking that it would be a relatively simple process. After all, he had Transformers when he was a kid, and I played with my brothers. How hard could it be?

27 steps, yes, 27... 5 hours of trying, taking breaks, trying again, cursing, muttering and being near tears. After 5 hours I finally got it. Lesson learned, a level 5 rating does not equate to "awesome factor" as I deduced from it's reviews. In fact, it relates to the level of transformation (the box kindly explains this), and "Santa" happened to choose a level 5. Expert. Not intermediate, or easy. Expert.

The good news. I can now put him in to truck mode in 10 minutes flat. I discovered this after Landon took him OUT of truck mode about 30 minutes after my first completion. Hooray for Transformer super mom!

Merry Christmas to everyone. Pictures of the holidays to follow soon. Just need to figure how to get them on to my new computer.